Going on your Healing Journey? Here’s where to start
For black women so many of us have been talking about therapy and going on a healing journey. For a lot of us we’ve survived a traumatic childhood and are looking to make peace with our past. But what does that really look like practically. In this article, I will talk about different methods for processing trauma that you can use with your therapist to heal from trauma. This article will also focus on holistic methods to utilize while on your healing journey. My hope is to reach black women who have been left behind and to arm them with knowledge to heal from trauma and to create a beautiful life for themselves.
The first therapeutic method for reprocessing trauma is EMDR. EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. It is a treatment for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. If you’ve experienced any kind of abuse, whether it be physical, sexual, emotional, or mental EMDR was made to help you process your trauma. It was developed by psychotherapist Francine Shapiro, in 1987, while on a walk she noticed that when she had a disturbing thought she moved her eyes bi-laterally (from right to left) and the thought went away. “EMDR incorporates the use of eye movements and other forms of rhythmic left-right (bilateral) stimulation (e.g., tones or taps). While clients briefly focus on the trauma memory and simultaneously experience bilateral stimulation (BLS), the vividness and emotion of the memory are reduced.” (APA, 2017)
There are 8 phases used in EMDR. The first is history taking, where a licensed therapist conducts an assessment to identify targets including past memories, triggers, and goals. The next phase is preparing the client, where the therapist explains the treatment to the clients. Phase three is assessing the target memory, which involves identifying and assessing the memory, the therapist asking how you feel about the memory on a scale of 1-7, where 1 is false and 7 is true. Then the therapist asks the client to name the emotion they are feeling. On a scale of 0-10, with 0 being no disturbance and 10 being the highest disturbance, how does this emotion feel? Then, the client focuses on their memory while the therapist directs them to move their eyes bi-laterally. During the desensitization phase, the clients are moving bi-laterally while they focus on new thoughts that have emerged. This goes on until the client reports that the memory no longer disturbs them. The fifth phase is installation, which strengthens the preferred positive emotion. The sixth phase is the body scan, in which clients are asked to scan their body to see if they feel any distress or disturbance. If there is distress, then the whole process starts all over again. If not then you will move onto phase seven which is the last phase where, you will evaluate the client to see if the clients psychological state is maintained.
The next trauma processing modality is called TIR, which stands for Traumatic Incident Reduction. TIR is a new form of therapy developed by Dr. Frank Gerbode, who is a psychiatrist. “TIR Traumatic Incident Reduction Therapy is a procedure that allows a person to desensitize painful experiences and reduce or eliminate the negative impact of traumatic, overwhelming events.” (Psychotherapy Center, 2025) TIR has been scientifically proven to ease emotional pain and resolve distress. When people experience a traumatic event, their brains block it out because it becomes overwhelmed. Folks can become triggered if they see or hear something that reminds them of the initial trauma.
Here is how TIR works, identify a traumatic memory, you will be asked by your therapist when it happened, how long it happened, and where you were when it happened. Then your therapist will ask you to imagine the incident again, you will close your eyes and do a retelling of what happened. Then you will let your therapist know what happened as you re-imagined the incident. Then you will be asked to repeat the process between 5 and 25 times. As you review you will notice that you remember things differently, you release pent-up emotions, your emotions may change, the traumatic experience will become less daunting, and you will change what this traumatic event means to you. TIR is there to help you desensitize the pain your traumatic experience has on you so that you can recover from it. Once done your traumatic experience can no longer have power over you.
Let’s talk about access to therapy. Conversations about therapy not being accessible come up all the time online. How can you see a therapist when you’re low income, uninsured, or disabled. When I first decided to go to therapy, I was uninsured and low income, so I emailed a therapist I heard on a podcast because I thought she was a phenomenal therapist and did a good job doing therapy with the guest. She was out of state, and I asked if she does therapy over Skype (this was pre- covid in 2016). She told me no but encouraged me to go to the directory on www.psychologytoday.com website and find a therapist there. She told me if you’re uninsured ask your therapist if they offer therapy on a sliding scale fee. That’s how I was able to find and see my therapist at a low cost.
Next, we are going to talk about some of the holistic modalities you can use on your healing journey. First, we’re talking about meditation. There are many different types of meditation but today we will be focusing on breathwork meditation. What is meditation? ”Meditation is the intentional practice of calming one’s mind or focusing on a single object or thought to bring about a state of stillness, peace and clarity." (Life Extension, 2021) Meditation can be done at any time of the day and in any setting, sitting up or laying down. So, what are the benefits of meditation and why should you incorporate it into your daily routine?
Here are some of the benefits of breathwork meditation, stress relief meditation can be used to calm the nervous system down and reduce the fight or flight response that sends stress to the body. “Meditation can help reduce the risk of heart disease by improving heart rate, blood pressure, and immune function.“ (Life Extension, 2021) Meditation can help reduce the risk of insomnia, helping you to get a better night’s sleep.
A lot of people want to start a meditation practice, but they don’t know what to do or how to start. Here’s how to start, go somewhere quiet where you won’t be interrupted. It could be your bedroom or another room in your house. You can lay down on your bed or sit down on a chair or cushion. You can light an incense or candle to set the mood or if you prefer not too that’s ok as well. You’re going to take a few deep breaths in and quite your mind. If you’re having trouble doing this, you can put some light meditation music on in the background. Start with just five minutes a day and you can build up over time. Set an alarm on your phone and just inhale and exhale and let your mind be at ease. You may experience negative thoughts just keep breathing and let them pass. Once you master the five-minute meditation, you can go on to ten, fifteen, twenty minutes or even a full hour. Do whatever works for you, there are no rules.
We’re going to talk about the importance of having community in your life. As children and youths, it was much easier to have community in our lives because we were in community with our family, parents’ friends, friends at school and our friends at church. We utilized institutions to help build our community. As time has passed many millennials and gen z are leaving the church especially women. Both men and women are suffering from a loneliness epidemic. As we graduate college and spread out through the country to find our first jobs post-graduation, we must build community wherever we go. Here is why community is important; we were not meant to do life on our own. All throughout history we lived communally with others. This idea of the nuclear family with a wife, husband, and two children living in the suburbs is something relatively new. We always lived in multigenerational homes with extended family to rely on for tasks and to help rear children. As black women healing from trauma, we need community in our lives more than anything. We need therapists to help us process our trauma and the day to day troubles that arise in our lives. But we need girlfriends to talk to about girl things. Just a simply weekly check in on the phone with your friends can make a whirlwind of a difference in your mood and stress levels. It can take you from being irritable and ready to snap to being calm as a cucumber. Having someone to call and check in on you makes you feel less alone in life.
Here are some of the benefits of having community in your life. “A community can also help us to develop a sense of identity…we learn about shared values and beliefs…our history and culture. This can help us feel we have a place in the world, and that we are part of something important.” (Psychology Today, 2023) This is so important because in a society that is individualistic, we need people in our lives who will help to keep us grounded. Here are ways to connect yourself to other folks. Join a mutual interest group. If you like to run join a running club. If you are someone who likes to read, then you can join a book club. You can meet other women who you have mutual interests in common with on Bumble BFF. You can join organizations with people who have the same identity as you.
Here are some tips for maintaining your relationships. Call or text your friends to check in on them and see how they’re doing. For a lot of us with PTSD or depression we struggle to let people know when we need their support, oftentimes we isolate ourselves because we’re struggling and can’t get out of bed. Even if you are unable to have a full-blown conversation text your friends and check in and let them know that you are thinking about them and haven’t forgotten them. Make plans with your friends, even if it’s something as simple as going to grab some coffee or browsing through a Barnes & Nobles. Make time for the people in your life who show up for you.
Next, we will talk about the importance of journaling our thoughts and feelings. As a writer, even as a child, I have always kept a journal. I found it easy to write how I was feeling or how my day went in my journal. Sometimes when you have no one to talk to or you’re in between therapy sessions, it can be beneficial to jot down your thoughts in a journal. You could be dealing with something heavy that is weighing on your chest, and it is so therapeutic to just let it all out onto paper.
Here are some benefits of journaling, reduction in PTSD symptoms. “Many studies have shown that therapy protocols combined with narrative writing (where you write about personally traumatic events) effectively reduce PTSD symptoms. (Very Well, 2024) Journaling can help with self-confidence as well, “reflective practice journaling," or RPJ, has been linked to improvements in self-confidence, self-knowledge, and coping skills in nursing students. RPJ involves writing about and reflecting on practical experiences.” (Very Well, 2024)
There are different types of journaling that you can do, there is gratitude journaling, where you write down a few things you are thankful for. This helps you to remember all that you have in those times where you don’t feel your best. Then there’s free writing journaling, where you just jot everything, you’re feeling in your head out onto paper. It’s a way of clearing your mind. Just set your timer for about six minutes and begin writing everything that comes to mind. You’ll feel a difference afterwards.
Lastly, there’s PAJ, Positive Affect Journaling, “In PAJ, you are instructed to write about positive aspects of yourself, your life, and past experiences and encouraged to create positive meaning from previous events. (Very Well, 2024) I’ve done PAJ in the past and I really like it because it gave me an opportunity to write about past experiences that happened in my life and to reflect how I’ve made positive changes from those experiences. Journaling has been something that has aided me on my healing journey. It is a plus and has always been beneficial to me.
Going on a healing journey is not for the weak. You really have to process through tough emotions and traumatic life experiences. Healing modalities such as breathwork and journaling have helped me along this journey as well as having community in my life. Please save this article and look back on it from time to time as you go through your healing journey. Taking the first step to do the inner work to heal your trauma and generational curses will pay off for you and future generations. Pat yourself on the back and continue along this path. You are doing the work that other women in your family couldn’t do but that’s why you’re here. Don’t let the women in your bloodline down.
References
https://www.apa.org/ptsd-guideline/treatments/eye-movement-reprocessing
https://psychotherapy-center.com/therapy-methods/traumatic-incident-reduction-therapy-tir/
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/what-the-wild-things-are/202307/the-importance-of-community